“I saw her there you know”
“Oh really….with that guy”
“girls these days….unbelievable I say”
Exclamations! Burst outs! Retorts! Questions! And most of them……rhetoric.
Being judgmental has become so mainstream that it almost seems like oh yes, I just bought a car, I just put a tattoo. It is high time one puts a censorship on how far one can poke one’s Pinocchio nose into another’s life. Specifically private life. After all it is private for good reason.
When there is an expression of negative response at the high rise of divorce rates in society, one is forced to answer a vacillating query. Have couples become intolerant to each other or have suffering couples decided to break the shackles of a toxic relationship. Man, considered a social being in the anthropological structure was never created to be monogamous. Now how twisted and eccentric has social revolution resulted in such a way that a member of the female sex is scowled upon for as much as having male friends, when a man is infact prompted to remarry or mate outside wedlock for a progeny.
It is not so much about inequality as much as it is about hypocrisy, that hurts. No sane person, be it a man or a woman would want a patriarchal social structure. For that matter even a matriarchal set up. Any form of labelling and boxing our myriad society, would lead to an adverse negative impact on either of the sides. This further brings us to the discussion of a core subject. Feminism.
People claiming to be feminist crusaders do not really believe in equality. People preaching to be liberal are the orthodox lot. Where proclamations and labelling begin, there ends the real purpose of the idealized life. Viriginia Woolf never called herself a feminist. Chimananda Adichie says how ignorant she felt, when her friend asked her to tell her how to raise her baby as a feminist This is where one comes to realise action speaks a tonne more than mere words.
Sexuality, as much as virginity is certainly overrated in our world today. It is a very deplorable condition to see rape victims be treated as criminals. And women whose morphed video circulates end their lives…are we really giving the value to things in our life, the deserving amount? A woman’s character does not lie in her vagina. And THIS, every father must teach her daughter. A girl child must be taught to fight back, to stand up for oneself and to retaliate when violated even if it is emotional or psychological abuse. Gaslighting is a horrendous practice humans use in an attempt to force a superior social structure on near and dear ones. And women are by far the biggest victims of it.
When assent in sought for in a child for what food the kid likes, what dress the kid likes, why not in the most important aspect of life partners? It is beyond comprehension as to how family can take people for granted those who are eligible to touch their daughter, especially taking birth chart into consideration, without for a moment checking if the groom is gay?
Human idiosyncrasy is as unique as the thumbprint. And the opinion of each person is that myriad that no one’s sense of righteousness can be imposed on even their own children, let alone the opposite sex. What can be tolerated and endured by one person cannot be the same for everyone. Then why should a toxic relationship that goes nowhere be put up with both by men and women. Saying NO requires immense courage, strength and a truckload of gumption. And sometimes those two tiny letters can save a lifetime of misery, regret, repentance and agony. Parents should realize that walking out of a negative relationship heals and teaches their kids to be better human beings, than having two quarrelling and miserable parents. A new world order is created wherein a child can understand that mistakes happen, and it is as much important to come out of it and reignite a wholesome life than to make the unworkable work. The ideal and epitome of a good human is to learn from one’s mistake, and the contrary would be outright complacent. Simply to see our life pass by, forget about thriving but not even living but merely surviving, is the most indifferent attitude one can have towards one’s life.
This is not a plea to advocate one night stands and flings, but a rationale analysis of why and how sometimes one single relationship for a lifetime JUST WONT WORK. Oprah Winfrey is seen as a real woman of courage, and so is JK Rowling. Can anyone deny that after her separation as a single mother, penniless, Rowling’s life went to the gutter? There rose a phoenix. In both the literal and figurative sense. That despite the tremendous numbing and un-rectifiable circumstances that a woman is put through, with hope and faith in the general goodness of mankind and of course with a touch of inner magic, mountains can be moved.
But with great power, comes great responsibility. More the rights, more the duties that must be tended to. The price we pay for independence is accountability. Accountability for ourselves, our mistakes, our actions and the consequences of it all. Now independence seems just like a tiny silver lining in the looming cloud of accountability, right? But that is the oxymoron of life, and acceptance of the reality is necessary to take the torch forward in the right direction.
Mere pompous words shall not be of any use, even in the short run. A life by example, will bring more followers than pretty words in a loud mike. Wishing and hoping for not a fairy tale fantasy but a sure future. Our life will be lived in our terms and conditions and that indeed is the NEW WORLD ORDER.